I knew it was going to be incredibly difficult.
But I thought I would try it anyway. Giving up foods, drinks, television, etc. doesn't even phase me. But take away the comfort of my bed, and I become weak. Weak in a good way. Weak enough to know how addicted to comfort I really am, and how I might subtly prefer my own comfort to doing what God asks of me in my daily tasks.
So here I am this Lent. Giving up the one thing that I love...sleep...in order to "pummel my body and subdue it" so that I may grow in the dual call to charity, loving God and neighbor with a more perfect ardor.
How's it been going, you might ask?
Day one: Got up, prayed, blogged, felt really motivated, did everything well. I must say I was pleased with myself. Pride cometh...you know.
Day two: Got up, prayed, did some exercises, saw my husband still in bed, and decided to snuggle (after all, he does need my love to keep him warm). Fell back asleep. Blah.
Day three: Got up, prayed, drifted to sleep while praying, and gave up after 45 minutes of a painful battle of trying to stay awake. This is the day I realize how big of a nothing I am. Boy, can I relate to Peter and the Apostles in the garden. Here was their Lord, about to lay down His life for them and the whole world, and they couldn't even keep their eyes open. I bet they felt like real losers too!
Day four and beyond: I have since amended my Lenten sacrifice to rise at 5 am only during the week. Realistically, I need the weekends to recover. I have also found that praying first thing in the morning does not facilitate the waking up process, so I am adding a 30-minute burst on the treadmill to jolt me into action. Prayer will follow.Tried it this morning and it worked like a charm!
It's funny, because I once heard someone say that putting prayer first thing in the morning ensures that we are giving God our best. Clearly, my best was not happening then, so in keeping with the truth that grace builds on nature, I will go to God with a clear head AFTER I wake up my body.